Iâm a social worker, parent educator and a mum of four sons aged 8, 10, 13 and 15, so itâs fair to say Iâve got a bit of skin in the gameâand raising good men is something Iâm deeply passionate about.
One of the perhaps unintended consequences of the series and its subsequent discussion has been a lot of fear when it comes to raising boys. Almost like all parents feels if they turn their backs for a second their little boy could be capable of violent crime.
When we look at our boys from a place of fear, we misunderstand them, and often we approach them with harshness disguised as discipline.
The problem with this is our boys are not harsh, our boys are soft. Theyâre loving. When we donât understand, we canât connect.
Boys are wired for connection just as much as girlsâbut they are often...
Itâs the end of a big day. Youâve wrangled snacks, sunscreen, water bottles, hats, and spare clothes. Youâve finally sat down with a half-drunk coffee whenâbamâtimeâs up. The baby needs a nap, or your toddler does and you donât want anyone falling asleep in the car on route home.
You have to leave the park. Or the beach. Or your friendâs house.Â
And your kid? Absolutely not on board.
Cue the resistance: the bolt away from you the loud and public âNOOOOOO!â or â5 more minutesâ but you know it will be 5 more and 5 more and will still end in a meltdown.
Youâre not alone. Leaving something fun is hard for little brainsâespecially when theyâre tired, overstimulated, or just having a great time. But it doesnât have to always end in drama.
Here's the secret: connection, preparation, and boundaries.
These three simple strategies can turn the end of a playdate or beach day from meltdown material to mostly smooth sailing.
Before kids can transition from...
Some days in parenting feel like a constant loop of mess, meltdowns, and moments we wish we could rewind. Youâre tired. Youâve repeated yourself 87 times. You just want everyone to put their shoes on! If youâve ever wanted to hit the reset button mid-chaos, this oneâs for you.
Thereâs a little phrase that I come back to again and again with the families I work withâand in my own parenting too. Itâs simple. Gentle. Powerful.
Not in a sassy, roll-your-eyes way. Not in a âyou better fix thisâ tone. But in a grounded, I-still-love-you-and-we-can-do-better kind of way. It's the ultimate do-over invitationâfor them, and for us. Here's how you can use it.Â
Kids are learning. Their brains are still wiring up how to manage big feelings, speak respectfully, and cope with disappointment or frustration. So when y...
If youâve ever found yourself pacing the sidelines, gripping your coffee a little too tightly, or shouting a well-intentioned âwatch the ball!ââyouâre not alone. As a mum of four boys, Iâve had my fair share of moments where I was way too into my childâs game. But over the years, Iâve learned something surprising: the less I say, the better my kids play.
At first, I thought my enthusiasm was helpful. Cheering loudly, giving advice mid-game, offering feedback on the car ride homeâit all came from a place of love and wanting my kids to do their best. But as time went on, I noticed something. When I dialled down the intensity and let them take the lead, they actually played with more confidence, enjoyed the game more, and performed better.
And then, I took up a sport myself. I quickly realised how hard it is to focus when people are shouting from the sidelines. Itâs distracting, overwhelming, andâif Iâm honestâa little annoying. Kids feel the same way.
Constant bickering, snatching toys, accusations of "that's not fair!" Itâs exhausting and makes us worry our kids will never get along.
Parents everywhere always want to know "How do I make them stop fighting?" But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of seeing sibling fights as a problem to eliminate, we viewed them as a crucial opportunity to build lifelong skills?
The Secret Benefit of Sibling Fighting
Children learn conflict resolution by having conflict. Itâs that simple. Sibling fights (and for kids who donât have siblings fights with cousins, neighbours, and friends) provide a safe training ground for navigating disagreements, handling strong emotions, and understanding different perspectives. Without these early experiences, kids may struggle to handle conflict in friendships, school, and eventually, the workplace or their own families.
Instead of aiming for a fight-free home (which, letâs be honest, is unrealistic), our goal should be helping kids fight better. ...
Youâre mid-conversation with another adult, deep in thought, finally managing to connect with another grown-up whenââMuuuum!â or âDaaad, look at this!ââyouâre interrupted for the hundredth time. Sound familiar?
If your child has a habit of cutting in just when youâre talking, donât worryâthereâs a simple yet powerful way to teach them patience and respect without frustration or constant shushing. Itâs called the Squeeze Technique, and it might just change your life.
The Problem with Constant Interruptions
Kids are wired to seek immediate attention. Their world moves fast, and when they have something to say, they feel like it must be said now. This is developmentally so normal for kids but itâs something that can get pretty frustrating for parents. It can either feel like you canât finish a sentence or you wind up snapping because it gets too much.
So how do you get a word in but also help kids to feel seen? Enter the Squeeze Technique.
What is the Squeeze Technique?
Instead of...
Some children thrive in the playground and make friends easily. For other kids, friendships are tricky to navigate.
When your child comes home sad about the fact that no one played with them today, or that someone was unkind to them, we feel their pain viscerally and it can feel like our own heart might just break in two.
The thought of our kids feeling left out or hurt emotionally without anyone there to help them can light a fire under us. We want to jump into action - call the school, drill our kid to find out the names of the kids who did this, or dive into a monologue of advice about âplaying with someone elseâ.
While these responses come from a place of love and protectiveness for our child, they are often more about how we are feeling than our kid.
The truth is all kids will have days where things donât go right in the playground and not all of these struggles need a parent to intervene. But what point do you step in, and what should you do to support your childâs friendship...
When one of my boys was in Kindy I would  check in with his teacher to see how he was going and hear nothing but positive reviews.
 Apparently, he was a âjoyâ to have in class. His teacher wished more kids were as attentive and quiet......
I wondered if she had the kids mixed up because his behaviour and emotions at home was off the charts difficult. He was picking on siblings, struggling at afterschool playdates with neighbours and falling apart over dinner he would normally have loved.
What was happening with my son is called after-school restraint collapse and itâs common at the beginning of the new school year as kids are all adjusting to new things.
Whatâs really happening here is our child working so hard to keep it together away from their parents all day long. At childcare or school, they need to share, take turns, listen and follow directions. They are also away from us; their safe base and it can take time to settle.
The after-...
As a mum to four boys I have had my fair share of tricky farewells and I am no stranger to bursting into tears in the carpark after yet another awful drop off.
When my youngest son started kindy, he was struggling with drop off. He would start to delay or struggle from the minute he woke, cling to the inside of our van and beg for a day off, he would cry at the gate in front of EVERYONE.
We talked about how saying bye to mum was hard and we workshopped what might help.
He came up with an idea that brining his beloved âSonic toyâ with him to the gate would help. He wanted me to mind it for him and then bring it back at pick up. We went to the gate with Sonic for two weeks before my son stopped asking for him and was able to go into school without anything. Heâs never looked back.
While this may seem âtoo simpleâ the reason this worked is well documented. My sonâs behaviour of struggling to separate as he adjusted to kindy and needing a transitional obj...
Most kids in Australia are going back to school in just over a week.
The shift from the long Aussie summer holidays into the back-to-school routine can be tough for children and letâs be real here - their parents too!
Beyond adjusting to new routines, the transition back to school involves a mix of emotions. Some kids might feel excited about new teachers, subjects, and classmates, while others may experience anxiety, sadness or uncertainty about the upcoming school year.
This can be exacerbated if there is significant change happening like starting school for the first time, starting high school, or moving to a new school. In times of transition kids are more likely to have big feelings about seemingly small things because there is a lot to process.
Things can be harder when kids experience social struggles or anxiety, if they are neuro divergent, or if they find the environment of school overwhelming to the senses. The below helps with the return to school for all kids, however s...
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