Let Them Play: Why Saying Less on the Sidelines Helps Kids Thrive in Sport

If you’ve ever found yourself pacing the sidelines, gripping your coffee a little too tightly, or shouting a well-intentioned “watch the ball!”—you’re not alone. As a mum of four boys, I’ve had my fair share of moments where I was way too into my child’s game. But over the years, I’ve learned something surprising: the less I say, the better my kids play.

At first, I thought my enthusiasm was helpful. Cheering loudly, giving advice mid-game, offering feedback on the car ride home—it all came from a place of love and wanting my kids to do their best. But as time went on, I noticed something. When I dialled down the intensity and let them take the lead, they actually played with more confidence, enjoyed the game more, and performed better.

And then, I took up a sport myself. I quickly realised how hard it is to focus when people are shouting from the sidelines. It’s distracting, overwhelming, and—if I’m honest—a little annoying. Kids feel the same way.

The Changing Landscape of Youth Sport

Today, kids are experiencing more pressure in sport than ever before. With an increasing number of rep programs, early specialisation, and heightened expectations, children as young as five are being pushed toward achievement rather than enjoyment. More parents are heavily involved, sometimes with the best of intentions, but often at the expense of a child’s intrinsic love for the game.

What’s Not Helpful on the Sidelines?

Most parents know that being rude, yelling at referees, or excessively pressuring kids is damaging. But research shows that even subtle comments—like “keep your eye on the ball” or “you’ve got to try harder”—can create stress and limit enjoyment.

When kids perceive their parents as overly invested, critical, or emotionally withdrawn after a tough game, it can turn sport into something they dread rather than love. And that’s the last thing any of us want.

What Do Kids Need From Parents?

It turns out, the best thing we can do is less.

• Cheer for effort over outcomes – Celebrate hard work, resilience, and sportsmanship instead of just wins and goals.

• Focus on the team, not just your child – Encourage teamwork and camaraderie rather than individual success.

• Let the coach and umpires do their jobs – Your child doesn’t need multiple voices instructing them mid-game.

• Be a calm, positive presence – A simple “I love watching you play” is more powerful than any game-time critique.

This Winter, Step Back and Let Them Play

As we head into another sports season, let’s remember why kids play in the first place: for fun, for friendships, and for the love of the game. They don’t need sideline pressure or post-game analysis. They just need space to play, learn, and grow—on their own terms.

So next time you’re at the field or court, take a deep breath, enjoy the moment, and let them lead the way. You might be surprised at how much better they play when they’re simply having fun.